Hindsight is Perfect


Michael stood in the last row with the biggest teddy bear in my kindergarten class picture. He had dark brown eyes, black hair never in place, a cow’s lick and a runny nose.

I don’t remember my first meeting with Michael, but from time I was five years old until I was 24, he was a constant in my life. Being with Michael was fun, especially on P.D. days. I learnt how gross boys could be, but I chalked it up to boys just being weird, always dirty and entertaining! I don’t remember what or if we had any common interests, as far as I was concerned everything was just most amusing with him.  I could just look at him, and that would send me into fits of laughter. In high school, we kept in touch mostly by calling each other once a week, and it was then I saw changes taking place in him. Nothing concrete, but like bread crumbs being laid down, I saw, heard and sensed the confusion developing in him. The entire time I was friends with Michael, I wanted him to notice me, but I was always in conflict with myself because I didn’t know where I stood with him. I now know that what I was experiencing was my heart burning. I wanted a friend who would always be with me, always listen, always want and love me, and it wasn’t Michael; he was badly chipped. I needed someone who never let me down. My heart was burning for Jesus.



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