When all the noise is gone, there is only God.
His love whispers like a butterfly fluttering in the recess of my soul, Jesus pulls me to himself, and patiently waits for me. Just like Mary, I sit at his feet.
Stripping me of what I have always depended on has led me to trust what I can’t see or touch. When He does speak, I doubt myself because His voice comes from a place that I wonder if I’ll ever reach in this lifetime. My hands bleed from holding onto the rope that leads me back to Jesus. Echoes of His guidance fade into nothing. The beauty of suffering rips into my neatly arranged life, leaving fragments all around me. His smile challenges me to understand how joy and sorrow can exist together.
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope
I hear no words, no nudges, or pick up any sense of direction. It’s as if I have been forgotten about.
Then you will call upon me, come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord,
I want the silence that I had when His voice was a whisper that intoned inside of me, instead of knowing of every weakness and sin that is a part of me. Not experiencing his everlasting goodness has me dying in a swamp of my own self-hatred. I want the silence that instructs, purifies, humiliates and above all loves. It is then that I know I am safe in the Lord’s arms.
and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you back to the place from which I sent you in exile. Jeremiah ~ 29:11-14