Fully Completely

Nothing is real.

The older woman in the laundry room asked to read the small print on her Tide bottle. I was finding the tiny print hard to decipher without my glasses. I was trying to help her tumblr_n2k138YEtG1st5lhmo1_1280determine how much laundry detergent to put into the washer. It always amazes me how easily people start out with something so insequential, and before you know it, the conversation has metastasized to include the ills of the world!

She was right about one thing though; nothing is real. Most of what we want or think we need is made of chemicals, plastics and plain nothingness. When it all come down to it, we all long for something that is concrete, and our reason for being on this earth does have eternal purpose.tumblr_n2k138YEtG1st5lhmo1_1280

Being present.

There’s nothing more tangible than having a conversation with the Lord, and even though He might not vocally answered you, you can be assured that He has heard every word.

I long for something real. Being someone or  buying more things doesn’t fill the hole that was meant only for Jesus to fill. However, for the longest time I resisted him, not allowing him to fill this emptiness in me. I wanted to be in control or what comes and goes through my life.

The goodness of the Father has somehow eluded me, but that’s not because He doesn’t want to shower me with his goodness. He does want to fill my heart with his generosity, instead of my pessimism. Can my wanting and hoping account for His graces to overcome my inability to receive what I need the most. The gifts that the Lord wants to give to me are good and very real.

In repentance and rest is your salvation
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
You said, “No, we will flee on horses”
Therefore you will flee.
You said, “We ride off on swift horses.”
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!”
A thousand will flee at the threat of one.
at the threat of five you will all flee away,
until you are left
like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
like a banner on a hill.
Isaiah 30:15-17

For two years,(at least) the Lord placed this scripture verse on my heart, in particular, in quietness and trust is your strength, he has brought these words back in the last few weeks… I have a choice to give him what he desires, or continue like the horses. Instead, the Martha in me goes around circles, and still is no closer to what the Lord desires for me.

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of Justice.
Blessed all who wait for Him

Isaiah 30:18 

On the other hand, I have experienced being a Mary, but I suspect my fear of having not enough trust is what restricts me from having a fuller understanding. I didn’t want the footing under me to disappear. Asking for help might seem to be what a weak person would do, but we are weak in need of His strength to carry us through the storm. He’s promised me he will come through on His faithfulness to me. Honestly, I have no idea what being fully His looks like, but he is asking me to play my part. To be the Mary who longs to listen and learn from Her Lord.tumblr_naj3gayWkL1st5lhmo1_1280

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