Grace is waiting for me on the other side.
All I have to do is to receive the love that’s being offered to me. It feels like all the walls are closing in on me, and nothing of what I dreamed is coming true. The colours are fading away from the promises that are encrypted on my heart. Prayers from the heart are the true conversations that goes on between me and my Father.
Fight the words that remain locked in conflict of free will, which determines the winner. Do I not perceive His glory wrapping around me in this struggle ensuring that He will come out the victor, despite my lack of vision that has disappeared.
Relationships from my past have marred my ability to hear Your voice over all the doubts, to recognize the lies that pause in wait to attack my gentle approach. I need to release the reservations that I hold in my heart because You do hear me. I need to be willing to ease up on myself. Your approach has been patient and delicate while You were busy weaving Your silent love into my broken heart.
Prayer gives me the relationship that I am craving. It gives me life to breathe in His Spirit and know that whatever I have asked, begged for He has heard me for he cannot deny himself to my petitions, my pleas to be healed of the sins that burden me. In His identity, he has invited me and you, to join the rest of the Church for our supplications to be heard before the Throne of the Most High.
How can I respond with trust and humility to the kind of relationship that is required with a God who is perfect in every way? Trusting His ways are a surer and more pure way to sanctification.
Relationships claim us for others, not for ourselves. You and I are not our own. I have been given gifts that I can no longer hide. It just isn’t fair to others for me to hoard what I have been given to give away. Therefore, in the relationship that I have with You; you have stake your claim with His blood to never forget me. To always love, honour and cherish. You’ll see through me even if I hide from all the blessings offered to me. In the beginning, I pushed you away from my heart because I thought there wasn’t any goodness inside of me. My interior was dark and shrouded in lies that I believed in. There was no way I could be who You made me when I denied the love you wanted to lavish on me.
Freedom is presented to me.
It exists in accepting His love that sweeps me up, and if I am open to His plan and the wholeness that rests in my heart. I can finally work on being and becoming who He created me to be. My free will is a gift with no strings attached. Situations don’t happen according to how I think they should, but if I choose Him, I can have everything because it was His first.