Winding up Your Rant

Do you trust in God?

I know without even asking that yes of course you do. I mean why43e39040 wouldn’t you? You pause in your answer, and maybe there is something slinking in the background that makes trusting a little shaky? A dark shadow that doesn’t want the light to shine on the problems that it is entangled with the question, can I trust in You. I tell myself it is a better and safer option to just trust in myself because I know I can get it done in a timely manner.

I have no problem believing that God is my provider, and is providing me with everything I need. I see proof of this every day. Do I trust the Lord with every aspect of my life? Maybe I do, and probably I don’t.

It’s easy to make decisions that push the Lord to the next country, continent, planet …

The other morning, I ranted all my thoughts down and then it was my intention to send it off to my Spiritual Director. Lately, certain things said to me have been triggering thoughts and it has a tendency to wreck my thought process. After I decided not to send the rant, I had a nap, and then afterwards I re-read the rant. Below each paragraph I would jot down a couple of thoughts relating to that particular section.

Resistance

I haven’t dealt with this word for a while. I guess another good word would be distraction. Do you like distractions that help you not deal with what is in front of you? On the other hand, do you love a good challenge? Just like my mixed temperament of melancholic/phlegmatic, I can picture myself balancing myself back and forth on my feet as I bump my boxing gloves together letting my opponent across from me know that I am ready for whatever he/she throws my way. Today I will deal with this and tomorrow I will pretend that I don’t have a single problem!

What do you normally do when you resist to letting God enter a situation in your life? Eat chocolate, stop paying your bills, or skip out on your children?

First of all, I don’t sit down or write out a formal invitation, He just seems to get entangled in all of my goop – and no I don’t mean Gwyneth Paltrow’s website. It is icky, sticky, and smelly. How do I know this? Well, no one, and I mean no one wants to deal with anything that is considered goop. It’s uncultured and that means I have to wash my hands, fix my hair and change my socks! Things like my emotions are goopy like the gunk in the corner of your eyes. So let me explain, first you have fear, but fear is only the beginning because it’s the pathway to the anger that you’ve been hoarding in your closet for years. Anger is just the screen door in the summer kitchen because once the summer winds down, you’ll have to enter into the kitchen where control is waiting for you to acknowledge that you can’t put your trust where it’s appropriate – in Him.

Control

It’s not a favourite topic of mine, it’s just that it’s been taking up too much space in me and it is time for it to find another place to inhabit. Something like across the city would be preferable to me.

I’ve been having problems with feeling dizzy lately, and I’ve been avoiding calling my doctor. My doctor, God love him, loves to ask question, and lots of them. That’s how control seizes you and you start seeing things that aren’t really there, again convincing yourself that you can only trust in yourself. Yes, the bible says you can put your trust in God, but sometimes you need to experience it for yourself that He is. Everything you do is in process of becoming who you are in Him, not outside of Him. Instead allowing His plan for your life to come to fruition and making a way for it.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s