It’s something we take for granted, something we forget that it’s an action that keeps us alive. Remember every inhale and exhale involves the scared. Simple actions can create triggers inside people and without realizing it, they let go of who they are.
I am worthy.
My sister instructed me to repeat those words, I just wanted to talk and she just wanted to be the good sister that she is to me. It was all coming back and how, I did feel unworthy of so many things. Ask and it shall be given to you. Matthew~7:7 I didn’t ask, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t in my heart, and of course, He knows our thoughts, desires, wishes for He desired them first.
I don’t want her to talk so much, but she was trying to show me through the experiences she went through that she undersands me. I forget sometimes that she grew up with me. I realize how little I knew of who she was growing up. She remembers things about me that I did and now I do not remember.
A fire has been lit in her, and for every situation that is beyond her control, she surrenders to her Lord. Yes, she is His, just as much as He is hers. Never would I imagine that I would be about learning how much I can trust her. He is faithful and trustworthy in all things.
She did listen but not as silently as I had wished, hoped or would’ve tried to control. As I struggled to listen and wonder what relevance her experience(s) had to do with my situation. I closed my eyes and breathed. Silently You drew out what you needed to tell me, and everything came rushing forward to me. Incidents that happened over a week and a half ago, suddenly lay naked in front of me. The pain I refused to let go of didn’t pierce my heart anymore. The pinch lessened as my understanding expanded in my heart, and the anxiety,doubt and anger dissolved.
Put on a Pedestal
No I’m not on a pedestal, but I put someone else who is a sinner just like me in that position. I don’t know all her struggles or triumphs, but from where I stand, sit or lie, her vantage point of view is better than from where I am standing. I will never know everything about her, but I have been focusing on what she has, but not on what she lacks. What she lacks, I have in an abundance, and what she has, I don’t know if I’ll ever have.
I love words, which probably explains my love of reading and writing. I like letting words work themselves all around in my head, and I silently say each syllable. I repeat this word as one would chew on their food. How do I feel about it? What does it remind me of ? What colour is it? Maybe what I lack is a gain, a reward that will continue to bloom in my life until it has been exhausted. When it is gone, I will go back and remember who I am, and I will remember to breathe.