Christmas Eve

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Everything is starting to blur.

It’s the ‘week of Christmas,’ and there’s a wonder, an awe that for me is beginning to form. It will reach its pinnacle on Christmas Eve, which according to my Mom is when ‘it’s all over’. You can’t shop anymore unless you believe in re-gifting gifts, the stores are closed, and everyone has gone home to be with their families and friends.

To be honest, when I was younger as the time neared to Christmas, there was this was sadness inside that increased for me. At the time, I didn’t know quite what I experiencing. I can better understand that my sensitive spirit was probably picking up on others whose burdens showed up through the Christmas season. Christmas is supposed to be this wonderful time of year with family and friends.

But Christmas isn’t a jolly time for everyone.

For some it’s the loneliest time of the year. They don’t have family to be with, to share the delight of the day and season. Many of us don’t really grasp that it isn’t about the gift giving, it’s about the gift that we all received over two thousand years ago. How do you go about receiving Him in your heart when there is no room? I distinctly remember after I had opened all my presents as a child that I felt this gaping hole in me because I still wanted more, in fact, I needed more.

The day when I should feel peace and joy, instead I was burdened with this incredible melancholy. I wanted to go back to the wonder and awe on Christmas Eve that I had experienced. I didn’t know who Jesus was, and I didn’t understand what the big deal was about a little baby being born thousands of years ago to a virgin. There’s reason why I can now experience peace and joy on his birthday, but I pray for those who have yet to meet Him.

 

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