This past summer, I began noticing that two or three sparrows would sit in between the rails of my balcony. This absolutely delighted me! I am careful to be slow in my movement and observe them quietly, or I risk scaring them away, and they’ll flutter away back to the safety of the bushes down below on the ground. They sit and fluff their feathers and otherwise look very cute. I would rather them come and visit then have the pigeons swoop down onto my balcony because next thing I know the male will be strutting his stuff to the quiet female, who is trying to go unnoticed by him.
Any reminders of the Christmas will pretty much be receded into the background by the time Monday arrives. It’s the routine and structure that I am needing because my thoughts have become so crazy, I am over analyzing obsessively, and I am gasping for peace to enter into me.
A couple of days after Christmas, we got our first winter storm, and at the end, we were left with 20 cm of snow. Tall snowbanks, slush and a pile of salt at the end of the sidewalks. It’s already January and mentally I am running to greet it despite its cold, damp and windy temperatures.
Most people don’t get the sensitive and quiet ones, and that’s okay. It is because I realized as long as I get it, I don’t mind telling you that yes I had a good Christmas because I did. I used to want others to understand what I went through Christmas but this New Year’s Eve I made a discovery, a discovery of how I experience Christmas is mine. Doesn’t mean I need to share it, and so I won’t. I’ll just make sure that I take care of myself in whatever way I can.
Back to the Sparrows
I like quiet, cute and unhampering to my situation(s), whatever that may be at the time, but I don’t and can’t control everything that comes into my life. Life is hard, but if I have any choice in the choices then I will choose the sparrows of leisure, who just want to fluff their feathers while they use my balcony for rest.