Parts of a Whole

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I saw my doctor earlier in the week for an unrelated situation, but he always likes to read what we discussed when I last in, by way of the notes, he has made. He asks all these questions that he knows the answers to, but he’s like that. Yep, I just want to zip in and zip out.

Questions

It’s the questions about being social that has me fidgeting, and it’s because well, I’m not big on the socializing thing, and there’s good reason, I’m an introvert. But instead of calling me an introvert, he called me a loner. There’s just something about the word loner that has me squirming on the inside of me. I feel as if he thinks I should be more social, but that’s not me. My doctor asks how often I socialize during the month, and to be honest being at work, really is my social hour five days a week. Then at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is socialize again.

The loner really gets a bad rap because it’s the loner who ends up killing innocent bystanders as  the crazed gunman who opens fire on unsuspecting victims riding the bus home. It turns out the gunman didn’t have many friends, in fact, he spent a lot of time by himself. Most of his neighbours would go for months without seeing, but when they did, he would yell obscenities at them. He was estranged from his family, and that’s when everyone starts judging why he went on this rampage of terror…

Sounding familiar

Sure I know other people who are introverts, but in no way would they or I become violent. I can’t even watch movies with a lot of violence, and even if I’m forced I close my eyes. I want the HEA, and feel that good feeling that goes with it. Yes, most people who kill others in disregard aren’t healthy, and obviously, these individuals probably have serious emotional and/or mental health concerns. But that’s one of the reasons I don’t like the word loner.

It’s hard to get to know me and people don’t come running up to get to know me, I’ll admit it here that I  would rather observe you and the situation before I really open myself up to anyone I haven’t met before. Yes, I spend a lot of time alone, and yes I love it! But I also enjoy spending time with people, and enjoy being around other people and a small amount of socializing hasn’t yet harmed me! For most people, being around other people is something that is fun to do. Being by myself has really helped me to get to know myself, but it has also has helped me to know when I need others and step out into my community and seek others out.

When my Doctor used the word ‘loner’ I realize now that he didn’t mean to put me off. Yes, introverts are part of a minority, so yes I am to a point misunderstood, but sometimes extroverts need to try to understand what the minority is all about. I know growing up before I really knew what introversion was all about, I tried being like everyone else which, if you read this blog on any kind of regularity – you’ll know it didn’t work for me. I just knew that I couldn’t fit the shape of who I was through anyone else’s cookie cutter.

And that is exactly what my direction is.

It is the labeling of names, words that somehow start to define how we and others see us. We become part of this mold, and we try to live up to that impression or appearance. There are certain words and labels that would definitely show others who I am, but I believe that there are all parts of the whole and that unless they are shown just the parts they will never know the whole of who I am. I am convinced that people are only seeing parts of my whole, but maybe they are able to see the whole of who I am. It’s not all about being an introvert to know who I am. It’s in the knowing, in the confidence that I have from staying true to my beliefs, expressing myself in ways that attest to this belief. It’s a mixture of a lot of things, but in the end, my parts are essential to my whole. So I’ll continue to go along with this label annoyance!

A challenge to all extroverts!

Calling all extroverts I encourage you to go up to someone you know is for sure an introvert, and befriend them.  Make the extra effort to talk to them on a regular basis if this possible. If you preserve in attempting to speak to them, I promise you great things will happen! Let me know in the comments if do take the challenge and how it goes.

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2 thoughts on “Parts of a Whole

  1. Tamara, some of my closest friends are serious introverts. Depending on the situation I’m in, I go either way. I do enjoy getting to know people. But I also enjoy time for myself (but maybe that’s because I have two boys who love to talk to me at home). 🙂 We should all be aware of the people around us. And yes, extroverts should use their gifting and talk with those who are introverts. It’s not always easy, but as you said, reaching out to another is enriching for both. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i think there are other words than “loner” that could be used for people who become violent, or commit heinous crimes. “Sociopath” would do in some cases. “Socially awkward” would sometimes work. “Narcissistic” is a good, descriptive word, too.

    But even extrovert and introvert don’t always capture reality. I’m not an introvert, particularly, but I love my solitude. I work by myself, and enjoy it. I like to go out photographing by myself, but it’s because I can take as much time as I want. There isn’t someone trying to be patient, while they’re inwardly tapping their toe and wishing I would hurry up, already! Most of the things I really enjoy doing — like writing — require being alone.

    Fact is, I enjoy solitude. I’m as happy as anyone to go out to breakfast or dinner with friends from time to time. I’ve friends that I travel with, and i remember birthdays and such. But here’s the thing — I’m almost never lonely. If I feel the need for company, I reach out. But most of the time, I’m perfectly content. In fact, the thought of a night spent drinking in a bar or a day spent shopping in a mall doesn’t appeal at all. So be it!

    Liked by 1 person

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