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How I Found My Superpower

Whenever doing a physical activity in school, the teachers would usually pick two people to choose the teams. I was always left to the last.

YEP

I don’t have a single athletic bone in me.

It just seems that everyone is good at playing sports. They’re not awkward. They don’t almost kick the ball, their foot just slipping past the ball, or the basketball just hits the rim of the hoop, and then is ruled out-of-bounds as it drops out the court.

In elementary and junior high, it was a big deal because you were judged on your Olympic ability in kicking, running, serving, dunking, etc. But on the other hand, I am a fabulous spectator! Math and Gym were not slam-dunks for me. This contributed to my oddity, to being weird because having the naturally athletic gene is what helps with your popularity. But I just felt so out of it, and I still don’t understand the reasoning’s behind playing Ultimate Frisbee, and then afterward at a coffee shop or pub. If you want to socialize, just skip ahead to the pub and order food already!

But I’m not completely without game because I can speed walk!

I’m sure, I would probably monopolize the category of speed walking if they ever created it as an event at the Olympics. They haven’t to my knowledge, so I continue on my own.

So What Is My Superpower?

Often I get caught up in I’m no good, and no one sees me syndrome. But He who sees me remains silent with his hands clasped behind his back even on the most intensive days. When I am left on my own, I do find the ability to allow Him to remind me that it is Him that this is all for. That my days of belonging are over because I belong in and to him. Not that it helps all the time, but if I am reminded of my beginnings, and at some point, I will hopefully gain sight of His position in my life.

Somethings don’t make sense, but sometimes the interconnectedness of relationships between strangers, your friends, family, and enemies don’t make sense either. People are what I want to talk about, the same people who disappoint me can at the same time turn around and show me that they do listen. We’re all flawed and that flows into everything you do. A lot of the time we push away what is important like our feelings, our limitations, and struggles. These are the things we need to be honest about in relationships.

I’m a bona vide introvert, so typically, I spend a lot of time to myself because I feel drained by spending too much time with others. It’s easy to isolate myself because of my past struggle with depression and my peers, but as I was attempting to heal from it, I found or re-discovered that I like connecting with people on a one on one basis or even two to five people, but there’s a catch! When my time is spent conversing with others and is spent in the shallowness of today, I am exhausted. I crave a depth and richness of conversation and connection with another person that is hard to find.

Using my Superpower

Most people have no patience for the deeper things of life. I  have found knowing my personality type has been an encouragement because it shows me what is normal for me. It has shown me who I am and that God really did know what he was doing. Even though sometimes I still struggle, I now know that my perspective isn’t necessarily wrong as I always would assume because others would not acknowledge the way I see things. Introversion and my typing is part of the map that is specific to how I think, see and process the world around me. It’s good, it’s really good. In fact, I have realized that who I am is what most likely kept me out of the popular group that I thought would make my life so much better!

 

 

 

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Passion

 

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We all have it.

It just depends on how you choose to expand your potential.

At some point, I realized that I didn’t have a detailed plan in my head when I answered the Lord’s call to follow Him. I thought it meant completely giving up any and all writing. I believed I needed to give up everything I thought that was important to me. Wrong, wrong, wrong. All the attempts to not write, only seem to intensify my desire to write. I didn’t think I had a single thread of talent when it came to writing. I didn’t even think in my wildest dreams that He would want me to write. I assumed that God, in the beginning, was a punishing God, so that anything that I wanted would be something that He would probably take away from me.

Yes, I am speaking about that hidden talent or gifting that you think is stupid or someone else years ago made fun of. So you tuck it away and pretend that it doesn’t matter.

But you know it does

It comes out when you don’t want it to. That hidden desire that streaks across your eyes and ignites a firestorm in your heart. A burn that you can’t make up even if you wanted to. It’s different for each of, and unfortunately, most of us aren’t aware of what were fervent about. How can you tell what it is that you’re passionate about, well for the one you don’t talk about it.

Let’s say you love animals, and as a child, you spent more time with them than humans. It wasn’t just interesting, it was your ability to connect with them, and understand them. People could see how awesome you were with animals. It just happens that one of your friend’s parents was a veterinarian, and she let you volunteer at the animal hospital where she worked. It was what helped you decide that you wanted to be a vet. It made so much sense to you, and it brought a joy and peace to your entire being.

Passion isn’t enough

No one told me how it would feel to be an adult, mostly because there are no instructions on how to grow up. It’s a hit and miss. Largely made up of what I like to call experience. Sometimes we use our experiences well, and sometimes we stay stuck in our mistakes. Our mistakes can convince us that our passion isn’t worth it, and what we felt wasn’t real or had no substance to it. In general, everyday living gets in the way, and you don’t take the route you always intended. You had a plan, and it’s not the unfolding way it did in your head. So what’s the point of spending time with what you’re passionate about? Doubt strips away courage that you built up before you were hit with the reality that the choices you make do have consequences in your life. You can’t bottle up your passions, or they’ll disappear if you don’t fight for what remains in your heart.

I believe more people would walk into the unknown parts of their hearts if fear didn’t hold them back.

 

 

 

 

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Discovering the Real Value in Christmas

 

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Christmas always left me feeling sad and empty when I was a little girl.

After all, the presents had been opened, and the wrapping paper was in the garbage, the whole idea of Christmas always seemed to be a waste – at least – to me it was. It was a race against time to get all those presents, and then a few hours later it was done. I wondered what the point of all of the gifts was. I was focused on a tree strung with bright sparkling lights, a man in a red suit who travelled with reindeer flying all over the world to give out gifts.

Forget the actual day of Christmas, the magic of Christmas Eve struck a chord in my young heart because I knew whatever was happening was special. Everyone leaves work early to go home and be with their families and close friends. Part of the problem I think was, I didn’t even know that we were celebrating and remembering a baby being born.

It’s a few days after Christmas, and it is still about hope, and though the majority of us have already been out to pick up a bargain from the leftover sales from Christmas, we make-up excuses for more stuff. Just another day to spend time buying stuff. And the question is: do you even need it?

Everything and nothing leads us to pause about what has gone wrong, except we don’t know what it’s all about. It’s a season of where paradoxes’ emerge. It’s a time to be wowed by the hope given to us by a baby born in a barn – in a complete lack of luxury, the complete opposite of what most people think of when they speak of Christmas. This is a time when it’s easy to overeat, over-shop, just plain over the top consumption! Another chance to fill the emptiness inside of their souls, but sometimes you need to empty yourself to feel the poverty of the situation.

It refuses to be extinguished

A small flame of hope lingers hidden underneath anger, shame, depression, and anxiety, etc., with all the gems that are the sum of our desires. Christmas doesn’t seem to be enough but it is, with the simple gift of hope in a birth of a baby in a manger. The problem is most of us equal Christmas with more stuff, more doing than waiting as we are called to do so during the season of Advent. Taking time to enjoy the Christmas lights on front porches, for example, this can help remind us of the hope that is in the waiting. Instead of holding onto negative emotions, make an effort to seek out the good that Christmas does offer, and even the opportunities that are given to us the time in between Christmas and New Years. For myself, I have found I need fewer activities and more time reflecting to appreciate what is going on.

The time between Christmas and New Year’s Eve is usually a chaotic time for me. It’s hard to put into words how I feel in this time of undetermined celebrating. It’s mostly an emotional and spiritual battle, but this year, I decided I was going to do something more concrete. I started with Advent:

  • This year I made the plan not to go into a mall once December came, I didn’t want to see the busyness when it should be a time of waiting, not rushing around. I start my Christmas shopping in March/April so that around November I can tie up loose ends.
  • I bought a devotional from Magnificat specifically for the season of Advent. I don’t normally read devotionals, but I figured reading something about Advent might help.
  • During Advent, there were times that I felt little reminders of joy and hope. I let the Lord fill me with these emotions, and they led me to anticipate(joy) the coming of His arrival.
  • I make a point each year to work 2-3 days to help with confusion of days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve

 

I hope you all had a safe and happy Christmas and all the best for coming year of 2017!

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Living as You Believe

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One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying. St. Joan of Arc

As I first read this quote, it is easy to see that Joan of Arc didn’t see it as a sacrifice the way God had called her to live as she believed. Most if not everyone thought she was a little bit loopy, admitting to hearing God speak to her. She was just a poor peasant girl and nothing was expected of her.

Would you be able to recognize it in yourself if you were truly living as you believe?

The first roadblock to that is I don’t know if I even know everything I believe. We are made of up of beliefs, and a lot of those thoughts are toxic. Some have been able to capture what they believe and not let fear get in their way of living. Is that why God takes some people so early in their lives, who in our opinion have just started living. Is it a tragedy or a victory because they didn’t experience the fear to be who they are, and they just expressed themselves as they were called, and with that God was pleased.

If life were that simple, and for some it is that simple. They don’t see the barriers that the majority of us have mounted up in front us. We keep ourselves back from our potential with all our baggage. We all have a dream, and no dream is the same. It might not seem like a vision like you would expect it, but it is because it’s part of your potential. We weren’t given life to be restless, He brought us here on Earth for a purpose.

Joan of Arc

Joan was a peasant girl living in medieval France and believed God had chosen her to lead France into battle and to victory against England. Born around 1412, she was 13 years old, when she first began hearing the voice of God. She had not been taught to read or write, but her pious Mother had instilled in her a love for the Catholic Church and its teachings. Her father a tenant farmer had arranged for Joan to be married at the age of sixteen, but she had already taken a vow of chastity.  Later, she able to convince a local court she should not be forced to accept the match, and successfully won her case. Unfortunately, she was betrayed by her country that she fought to have Charles VII installed in the rightful position as the King of France. She was held in captivity for over a year before she was burned at the stake for false accusations of witchery. She was only 19.

It’s hard to know what Joan was thinking, but from the quote, living as she felt God had told her was all she was interested in doing. Dying for what she believed in was worth the betrayal, by those she had hoped would support her.  Martyrdom is a spiritual gift, but you obviously won’t know if you have it until you actually die for your faith. Joan wasn’t deterred from how Charles VII ultimately deceived her. She believed and lived in the belief God was speaking and directing her actions.

Patriotic flair for God

The majority of us will from die a natural death, and not necessarily for our faith, but it would do us well to consider and remember, what an illiterate teenager in medieval France was willing to do for God. It wasn’t the popular thing to do, no she was expected to marry. Instead of settling for what everyone expected of her, she stood up and rose to grab her potential.