Are We There Yet?



I’m only going to admit here: I’m bit of a romantic when it comes to waiting, but I’m under no illusions that waiting is a glamourous thing. Maybe if a documentary was done on the journey of my waiting then could I term my ‘waiting’ with a bit of romanticism? There would be sweeping and haunting music in the background, only the best shots of my waiting, and then of course the glorious end! But when is my waiting done?

We live in a culture that abhors to wait, the mere mention of the word, and we start becoming someone we aren’t. Nasty, belligerent and impatient. No, one gets away with this one because well, only the Lord is patient in waiting, which is why waiting is something to be learned and valued. But waiting is only the conduit from which we learn what we need for this life. It breeds character, virtue, fine manners for dinner etc. There are so many reasons for waiting, and most of us are still waiting for the Lord to explain it.

Pulling and Pushing

The Lord can and will use this time to turn our direction from outward to inward. To bring us to a place where we see what he sees in us. As I mentioned, I’m a bit of a romantic when it comes to waiting, but I seem to push out of my mind, all the pain that accompanies waiting.

We can push away the pain of unfulfilled dreams, and pretend that we are in control, pretend that the peace that only comes from the Lord doesn’t satisfy our empty wants and needs. We want to live our lives in harmony with Him or we take off on horses that imitate and mock his beauty. We don’t breathe in His spirit and we can squander what he has given us because we don’t consider why He is waiting.

A Fine Suffering

No, I’m not done. In fact, as long as we are alive, we wait for His return, his glorious return to claim what is His. But in the meantime what are we to do? What are we to say when it is asked of you why you wait, why you struggle with what you can’t seem to get from life. Well, life isn’t here to serve you, you are here to serve those around you. As the chisel in the Master’s hand continues to allow the absence of your desire. How does this absentia create havoc in the crevices of your soul? For long periods of time nothing will speak of what your heart longs for, or what you are seeking with your eyes. Sometimes you wonder if the hunger that lives inside of you will ever be tamed. The gnawing is like a flickering light that refuses to be blown out.

For a long time I’ve wanted to write about waiting because too many of us – just don’t get it. Learning to wait isn’t a punishment, it’s more of a time to be waited upon. We want to be where everyone else is, and that isn’t always the best place for us. Until our time is done, life is one big waiting period because we are simply being prepared to go home.

Most of my life, I have jerked myself around trying to be someone, something that I am simply not. It is in the periods of waiting that I have been taught who I am. We’ve been taught by everything that is around us, that it isn’t good to wait because you could have ‘it’ now! During this long season (and still continuing!) of waiting, that what I need and want are mistakenly not materialistic but of a eternal reward.


There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart… pursue those.


My Door of Happiness




It wasn’t until this week that I felt this tug of war, this struggle between my anger and the hope God has given me for His plan. It was as if the anger was trying to squeeze out the fire of hope in my heart. At the start of the day there is a confidence in me, the day is starting out good, and that the blessings that God longs to pour on me will be received. He’s watching and waiting on me to make a decision, which will it be? Hope or anger?

In it all, I am seeing how He pursues me, searches me and seeks me and this is what makes me whole. He is never still though it does seem like he isn’t doing anything. He will fill me if I allow him, but first I must make room to for Him to dwell in me, and this happens in His pursuit.

The struggle isn’t anything new to me, but a finer awareness of what I am still choosing. There’s still this confused and angry girl in me, trying to be heard, and refusing to be told by my Father that His ways are better. I may desire what God wills for me, but it doesn’t make it any easier to tell my will that it’s time to walk down a new road. Romans ~ 7:15-20

Mostly for me it’s a choice; to stop and listen to what’s going on the inside of me. A while ago, I asked God what I can do about the anger that I felt spewing inside of me. It seemed so out of control, and yet I know that there was nothing I could do, nothing I could change except me. The Lord told me that I can accept what is before me, and I can do this through allowing His hope to penetrate the places where anger

Hope is my door of happiness.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed-door that we do not see the one which has been opened to us.

Helen Keller

When I first read the this quote, I quickly squashed it in my head because I had always thought that we must wait for another door to be opened, but the quote stayed with me and the more I pondered it, the more I realized about how it is God who waits for us and not the other way around.