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Stuff You Didn’t Mention

 

Some people walk into your lives and the blessings they leave behind seem to still shine even though there are a thousand miles in between.

The picture above is from my friend Catherine in an email that gave me the title for this post. Whenever I need prayers, I will send out an email to pretty much everyone on my contact list. Some respond and some don’t, but hopefully, all of them pray for me. The first email she sent me contained a photo of two (of four) of her children eating noodles off the floor, and of course, she added a cute explanation for what transpired for them to be eating off the ground.

A bit of honesty here, I didn’t think I would still be in contact with Catherine on any kind of basis. It’s been my experience most people – women in particular – disappear when they marry. I expected no less with Catherine, and yes for a year or two, she did, but she’s the only friend (who is married) who has maintained any kind of connection with me. Her eldest daughter just turned 9 years old. I remember her visiting me when she was pregnant with Lucia, who is just as beautiful just as her mother is.

Catherine is one of those people whose kindness and generosity shines through her heart in everything she does. We first met in 1999, she is from Saskatchewan, one of the prairies provinces in Canada. She moved to the city I live in because she going to university there, and wanted to experience life away from home.

When Catherine graduated from school she spent a year in Taiwan teaching to pay off her student loan, and I think it was a couple of years after she married. A lot has happened for both of us since we first met. She lives in a town called Rocky Mountain House, Alberta, and has two girls and two boys. I don’t see much or phone/email to her much, but when we do connect it doesn’t really matter that so much is in between us

Months earlier this year, Catherine emailed me and asked if it was possible to get together. She was going to a wedding at the beginning of June. Of course, I said yes! She has a wonderful spirit of persistence for people such as myself, who wondered in the beginning – why me?

I don’t take the role of friendship lightly. Even though five years may span between each time we see each other. Catherine still takes the time to include me in life as much as you can when she lives at one end of the country, and I am on the other end. I haven’t been able to visit her as I would like, but there’s a standing invitation that I hope I will be able to take her up on in the future.

 

 

 

 

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React or Respond

 

When you can’t put your prayer into words, God hears your heart.

iamlovedbytheking.tumblr.com

On Wednesday of this week, I got an email from Eddie Bauer, informing that they were giving me a gift card for $30 since it’s been a while since I’ve bought from them. They claim to miss me! I haven’t bought any clothes in over a year, I like clothes, but I always buy way more books and food than I do clothes. For Christmas, my Mom gave me a $40 gift card for a local and very popular second-hand store, St. Vincent du Paul. Most people would probably agree with me when I say their selection and prices are better than Value Village. I am at the point where I really don’t like the clothes I wear. Maybe, I should go to the trouble of printing off this coupon at the library because I don’t have a printer or a mobile phone.

I haven’t found a perfect way to express what may burst into my life, but I’m realizing this is somehow linked to who I am. I am taking off the layers that cover the core of who I am.

Learning who I am

Just when it seems that I am doing pretty good, Lent and spring allergies pop up, like I haven’t experienced in years.

I want to be who I am all the time, but by not eating refined sugar it’s brought up anger that I didn’t think were still there and a situation I tried to push away. Even though I know that life isn’t perfect, I think I expected it to be, and I feel as I am waiting for it to happen. My invisible feathers get all huffed up when someone isn’t as kind or respectful as I would like, but who I am to determine whether I get kindness or respect. Instead, I am being nudged to be the one to show kindness and smiling when I am all out of playing nice with other people.

All of my struggles all of a sudden are magnified a hundred times. This isn’t what living an authentic life is supposed to be. – right?

The Real Deal

I want the real, unrefined, not going to slip through my fingers kind of life. I don’t want a processed life, so instead of a cheap version, it will be filled with the wholeness of who I am. I have this image of me running in an open field but I don’t know my destination. Becoming who I was created to be will not happen overnight. I grew up believing that I would know everything when I was in my twenties, but I don’t know where that belief came from. Becoming an adult hasn’t given me all of the freedom I sought as a little girl. Instead, I think I am realizing that it’s possible, but it may take some time, probably my entire life! But if I can get glimpses of what it looks like, I can keep going back to the map that’s imprinted on my heart.